One year without you and still missing you like it's been yesterday.

I'm sorry, I failed, I can't make you proud, I can't stop crying.
You were my everything. I do remember our last conversation, eating cherry gums, and arguing about the world.
I do remember the last thing you said to me and I do remember why the last time I saw your face, you had no smile.
I miss you more than everyone and everything. I love you more than life, more than love and more than death. I promessed you I will go on and will have a life. Watch, I'm in love and pregnant. I find love and hope it's gonna be forever.
Last year I had to learn how to live, how to survive. I'm sorry, I had to much tears, I've lost myself in the sorrow and I could not find my way back.

I'll make you proud, I'll grow old and I'll live.

I'm so sorry, I could not be strong as much as you wanted. I could not start again right after your death.
I'll love you forever, even one day I'll stop crying.
You are the love of my life.

I remember your cherry gums, your addiction to music; I do remember what you said when you could not sleep, the taste of your favourite meal, the smell of your perfume, your face when I was listenting "Shamandalie" for the 13rd time of the day. I do remember your smile when I told you we can live together for a year and how we celebrate my return in Molière's land. I do remember you in primary school playing with everything you could find in your bag. I do remember you in high school always with your guitare, and I do remember you in college, nervous of growing up.

I miss your smile, our fights sometimes for nothing, our speech about music, about cinema and photography. I also miss your tears, always against my shoulder. I miss your voice more than  I have ever miss a sound, more than I ever miss something.

Thank you for all the years next to me, thank you for your hand on mine when we bury Matt, thank you for telling me how important life was, how beautiful things are even sometimes sorrow took all the place.
Thank you for being such a good friend, the best I ever had. Thank you for everything, my everything & my life... 

Thank you. 
I'll always love you, no matter if your alive or asleep.